Let’s go there.

If you’ve pastored for more than five minutes, you’ve felt it…

The sting of someone leaving your church.

But what about when they do not quietly, but strategically.

Not with peace… but with plans.

Not through the front door… but with a trail of text messages, coffee meetings, and passive-aggressive posts .

They don’t just walk out.

They ACTUALLY want to take others with them.

I call that an exit wound…because it doesn’t just hurt, it bleeds.

It bleeds confusion, division, and distrust… and too often, the pastor bleeds alone.

So what’s ACTUALLY going on here?

First of all this is NOT a new thing.

The very first time this happened…

was in Heaven.

Remember when Satan got prideful, AND…he took a third of the angels with him?

There it is.

The original exit wound.

It wasn’t just rebellion…it was recruitment.

It wasn’t just about leaving…it was about leading others into disobedience.

That same spirit still operates today.

Why do they do it?

1. Because they want to be RIGHT more than they want to be HEALED.

Walking away quietly would force them to wrestle with whether their offense was valid.

But if they can gather a few “Amens” on the way out?

Now they feel justified…even holy.

2. Because they confuse influence with ownership.

They served. They tithed. They helped paint the kids’ wing in 2019.

So when something doesn’t go their way, they don’t just feel disappointed…they feel betrayed.

And betrayal ALWAYS leads to bitterness.

Bitterness breeds a side hustle called division.

3. Because they were never taught how to leave the right way! 

They saw this before…at the last church.

And the one before that. 

That’s how momma did it and grandma before her…

It’s a pattern. And unfortunately, exit wounds often get passed down like church trauma heirlooms. 

4. Because the enemy recruits from within.

Satan doesn’t destroy healthy churches from the outside.

He whispers to the offended on the inside.

He weaponizes wounded pride and slaps a “spiritual” label on it.

And suddenly, they think they’re on a mission… but really, they’re just marching to the beat of bitterness.

5. Because sometimes… they want to burn down the very house that healed them.

The same church that prayed them through the storm…

…is now the one they set fire to on the way out.

The same pastor who counseled their marriage…

…is now the villain in their version of events.

The same altar where they met Jesus…

…is now the battleground they use to stir confusion.

It’s one of the deepest wounds in ministry—watching someone torch the place where they were restored.

So what do you do, Pastor?

Don’t take the bait…

Don’t match immaturity with control…

Don’t waste Sundays explaining yourself to people who’ve already made up their mind….

You’re not called to fight every fire they start…

You’re called to shepherd the ones who stayed, not chase the ones who left trying to torch the barn.

God defends those who lead with integrity…SO leave the outcome to Him.

You didn’t sign up for a popularity contest.

You’re in a covenant with your calling.

And no amount of slander, shade, or sideways glances can undo what God established in you.

LET THEM GO…but don’t let them take your peace with them.

…don’t hand them your confidence on the way out.

….don’t let it turn your heart bitter.

Preach the Gospel like someone’s life depends on it…because it does.

And don’t let one offended person rewrite the story God is writing through your ministry.

You are not alone. You are not failing. 

You are not done.

And BY THE WAY God SEES every meeting, every whisper, every moment you BROKE and kept going.

So keep going.

The Exit Wound might hurt…

But it won’t kill you.

Hold the line.

– Pastor Z